Had better vs Should - Difference

What is the difference between had better and should?

The phrases both "had better" and "should" are used to give advice or recommendations, but they have slightly different tones and usages.

Differences

Consequence

"Should" is softer and suggests advice or recommendation without a strong sense of urgency or consequence. It implies that something is the right thing to do.

"Had better" has a sense of urgency or a warning, often implying that there could be negative consequences if the advice isn’t followed.

You had better finish your report by tomorrow.

(There’s a consequence if you don’t, like missing a deadline.)

You should finish your report by tomorrow.

(It’s a good idea, but not necessarily urgent or mandatory.)

Politeness

"Should" implies a recommendation, but other choices may be reasonable. It sounds more polite and can be used in more situations without sounding rude or pushy.

"Had better" suggests that following the advice is very important. It can sometimes sound forceful, rude, or even like a threat.

You had better not be late.

(This sounds strong, like an order or warning.)

You should try not to be late.

(This is a more polite suggestion.)

You had better apologize to her.

(It’s crucial; not apologizing may lead to problems.)

You should apologize to her.

(It’s a good idea, but it’s not critical if you don’t.)

Common Usage

Should" is more commonly used in everyday language and sounds more neutral.

"Had better" is less common in everyday conversation, as its tone is stronger and often more serious.

We should hurry up, or we’ll miss the beginning of the movie.

(More common)

We had better hurry up, or we’ll miss the beginning of the movie. (Less common)

More Examples

You should lock the door before leaving.

(Polite suggestion: Locking it is a good idea, but there’s less emphasis on danger.)

You had better lock the door before leaving.

(Implies a warning: If you don’t lock it, something bad could happen, like a break-in.)

They should study for the test.

(General advice: Studying is recommended, but it’s not as urgent or pressing as “had better.”)

They had better study for the test.

(Strong recommendation with a consequence: If they don’t study, they might fail the test.)

You should make a reservation.

(Polite suggestion: A reservation is helpful, but it’s not implied that failure to make one will be problematic.)

You had better make a reservation.

(Implies there might be consequences: Without a reservation, there may be no tables left.)

He should see a doctor about that cough.

(General advice: It’s a good idea, but not an urgent warning like “had better.”)

He had better see a doctor about that cough.

(Warning: If he ignores it, the cough could worsen into a serious illness.)

He should apologize to his boss.

(Recommendation: It’s a good idea to apologize, but not as critical or mandatory as “had better.”)

He had better apologize to his boss.

(Suggests an urgent action: Not apologizing could lead to trouble at work.)

You should finish your work on time.

(A more gentle suggestion to stay on track without implying severe consequences.)

You had better finish your work on time.

(Warning about potential consequences of being late, like missing a deadline or facing criticism.)